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Bromance
by
Kyle Evans

Yes, a very serious relationship between two males can exist without being of a homosexual nature. Its formal name is a bromance.

At the all-boys school of Cardinal Newman, these same-sex “romances” are everywhere. A bromance is when two guys are very close friends and when seen in public are usually always together. When one of these connections starts, you will notice these two guys talking all the time, sitting next to each other in class, and of course eating lunch together along with other bro-couples.

As the relationship progresses, you will notice that the two guys are starting to look more and more similar as their clothes and hair styles start to reflect. Do not be alarmed, this is completely normal. Usually the two guys play on a Cardinal Newman sports teams together and will eventually move on to doing the same activities outside of school as well. It’s not that having a bromance at Cardinal Newman is popular. It is a natural occurrence for all who attend this school. This connection is liked by CN students because it gives them someone to relate to since serious bromancers are almost identical in personality as well as appearance. Also, if you ever encounter a partner project in a class you immediately know who you are going to pick with the relief that that person will pick you back.

Take note that two guys in a bromance do not recognize it. Only those outside this sacred connection can perceive it. If you attempt to point out to two guys that they have this relationship you will be swiftly denied and slightly disliked. If you sincerely wish not to be disliked by the people you irritated then you should try to form your own bromance and then you will be understood by bromancers you annoyed. However, this bond cannot be suddenly formed as it can take up to several years to find your true bro-soulmate.

A bromance can improve your life where a heterosexual relationship fails. Because of this reason, many guys prefer a bromance to a troubling romance with a female. Your bro-partner will be low maintenance and always fun to be around. When together you don’t have to worry about looking good and any mock sensitivity and expensive gifts can be forgotten. It is guaranteed that a bromance relationship will be stable and always long term. With these relationships there is usually very little tension and since guys are regularly very chill and relaxed, any fight is quickly resolved with a manly hug.

So if you want to find yourself a nice guy to start a bromance with come to Cardinal Newman.

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		STUFF CARDINAL NEWMAN STUDENTS LIKE These are two blogs posts devoted to stuff that students of Cardinal Newman High School like. Posts are written by students in Mr. Smith's 9th grade honors english class of 2010. These essays are an excercise in the use of satire, hyperbole and overstatement by developing writers. The objective of the assignment was to motivate the students to really commit themselves to the writing process, knowing that their writing would be public and for a real audience. They are intended to be humorous, not offensive. Read them closely; take them lightly.
		To see more of these blogs, please visit this site. http://www.stuffnewmanstudentslike.blogspot.com
		Hugs by Lucas Bilbro Cardinal Newman High School is an all boys high school that is known for its intense athletics and manly student body. These attributes make it extremely ironic that a favorite pastime of Newman students is hugging, specifically bro-hugs. Two six foot something, sweaty football players sharing a warm embrace outside the weight room is not something that you would encounter in your average high school. At Cardinal Newman it is the norm; Newman students love to hug it out. There is a specific protocol that is followed in “bro-hugs”. You can execute the handshake that becomes a hug. This is a quicker, manlier hug because the two participants bump off each other’s chest muscles while the handshake acts as a barrier to distance one bro from another. Or, you can rock a more traditional hug, but you must diagonally interlock your arms so that neither participant’s arms are around the other’s waist, the position that a girl would be in if it were an orthodox heterosexual embrace. If you encounter a Newman student and you wish to initiate a hug, you should precede the hug with a friendly greeting or phrase such as, “What’s up broseph?” or, “What’s crackin’ brochahontas.” If you use a witty variation of the word bro in you pre-hug greeting (such as broski, broseph, brokalater, brochahontas, or broflannigan) it significantly increases your chance of social acceptance. If you wish for your hug to say, “We are the best of friends,” you can precede your hug with, “I love you man.” But, you must never say “I love you.” You must end the phrase with “man” if you intend to be perceived as a sensitive heterosexual and not of a sexual preference that is less socially acceptable at Cardinal Newman. There are also physical techniques that can be used to deepen the emotional meaning of your bro-hug. A gentle head cradle is a timeless classic akin to the dual handed clasp handshake used by those of older generations. Note: this gesture is mostly reserved for more meaningful relationships such as bromances. But be wary that you don’t go too far with any extra physical subtleties. No matter the circumstances, no matter how powerful your feelings are for your bro, pelvis contact is not acceptable. Whether it’s a casual greeting or an expression of manly love, hugs are an everyday feature of Cardinal Newman life. Cardinal Newman students are not “gay”; they are just comfortable enough with their sexuality that a warm embrace with another bro is seen as the equivalent of a fist bump or a high five. Newman students love to hug it out and they are proud of it.

		Bromance by Kyle Evans Yes, a very serious relationship between two males can exist without being of a homosexual nature. Its formal name is a bromance. At the all-boys school of Cardinal Newman, these same-sex “romances” are everywhere. A bromance is when two guys are very close friends and when seen in public are usually always together. When one of these connections starts, you will notice these two guys talking all the time, sitting next to each other in class, and of course eating lunch together along with other bro-couples. As the relationship progresses, you will notice that the two guys are starting to look more and more similar as their clothes and hair styles start to reflect. Do not be alarmed, this is completely normal. Usually the two guys play on a Cardinal Newman sports teams together and will eventually move on to doing the same activities outside of school as well. It’s not that having a bromance at Cardinal Newman is popular. It is a natural occurrence for all who attend this school. This connection is liked by CN students because it gives them someone to relate to since serious bromancers are almost identical in personality as well as appearance. Also, if you ever encounter a partner project in a class you immediately know who you are going to pick with the relief that that person will pick you back. Take note that two guys in a bromance do not recognize it. Only those outside this sacred connection can perceive it. If you attempt to point out to two guys that they have this relationship you will be swiftly denied and slightly disliked. If you sincerely wish not to be disliked by the people you irritated then you should try to form your own bromance and then you will be understood by bromancers you annoyed. However, this bond cannot be suddenly formed as it can take up to several years to find your true bro-soulmate. A bromance can improve your life where a heterosexual relationship fails. Because of this reason, many guys prefer a bromance to a troubling romance with a female. Your bro-partner will be low maintenance and always fun to be around. When together you don’t have to worry about looking good and any mock sensitivity and expensive gifts can be forgotten. It is guaranteed that a bromance relationship will be stable and always long term. With these relationships there is usually very little tension and since guys are regularly very chill and relaxed, any fight is quickly resolved with a manly hug. So if you want to find yourself a nice guy to start a bromance with come to Cardinal Newman.