The brisk January snow gradually covers the White House steps, covering it with a layer of even purer white. The president, with her feet kicked up on the Oval Office table, is consumed with an ocean of pride as she contemplates the great power of her new position. Hillary’s glorious victory has finally started to set in. She is the new Commander-in-Chief; she alone is the leader of the free world. Although everyone says this is one of the heaviest responsibilities in the world, Hillary feels that the weight has finally been lifted from her shoulders. “Nothing could have been more exhausting than convincing America not to empower that clueless demagogue,” she mumbles to herself, “The hard part is over. Now all I have to do is sit back, relax, and laugh while these mindless Americans follow my every whim.”

Meanwhile, the kingdom across the pond could not be more bustling with excitement. “We’re gonna make Britain great again!” The roar of the crowd is deafening. The mass of people stretches for miles, surrounding the man whom they have began to laud like a demigod. Although Trump first met tremendous opposition when he arrived to England, he flexed his extraordinary charisma to miraculously transform the people’s hatred into strong British nationalism. “The United Kingdom has been a pitiful nation for far too long. We no longer are just going to just sit here on this island and slowly fade into nothing but a piece of forgotten history. We are going to bring back the good ol’ days of Great Britain. Dump your tea, throw out your crumpets. It’s time to work. We are going to conquer, imperialize, send out fleets of ships as far as the eye can see. It’s gonna be huge.”

While the British dust off their redcoats, preparing for their revenge against the Yankees, the Americans have caught wind of their plans. Many could not be fazed by this miniscule threat; after all, the glory of Great Britain is a remnant of the past. Although, other Americans see the potential disaster that lies hidden in this murky predicament. They start to panic, rushing grocery stores, raiding various REI’s and Dick’s Sporting Goods’ for whatever they need to survive this imminent war. Amidst their turmoil, one man looks out over the Atlantic Ocean and spots a very peculiar sight. It’s a British warship. Soon after, two more sails pop over the horizon. Then four more. The man is terrified by the sight of this massive fleet, although he is soon relieved to see a US Apache helicopter fly out to take care of these rickety 1700’s warships. But to his horror, the Redcoats load their cannons, aim them at the chopper, and yell “fire!” as they take that helpless piece of machinery out of the sky. “Huzzah!” yells a frail old woman aboard the lead ship in the fleet. “At last the time has come! We are going to rebuild the British Empire!” It’s Queen Elizabeth. She’s coming to take back the colonies.

To Be Continued