My life has been largely influenced by my mothers - in addition to my birth parents, I have had three moms in the U.S.

My birth mother is a typical Chinese lady. She’s calm, good-hearted, sincere and always a good listener. Once on a beautiful summer day, I opened the door and saw her reading in an armchair. She looked up and smiled at me. For a moment, she looked like a lady who just walked out of an ancient Chinese painting, a lady with the nature of jade - pure, modest, and firm. She is not only my best friend and mentor, but also my first role model. No matter how far I travel, deep inside my heart, she is always there, with a book, a cup of tea, sitting in the warmest sunshine of June, and smiling at me with love and expectation.

My first host mom, Kathy, was kind and reliable, but she was also hard on rules. Like all her own kids, I was told the rule, “No cell phones or laptops after 10:00 p.m.” on the first day of my arrival. In addition, we were required to clean up the bedroom every morning before leaving, or no phones or laptops during the weekends. Although her rules did help me learn to accept orders, what I learned most from was our disagreements. Before I was known for my kind and calm characteristics and high tolerance; nobody had really seen me get mad or upset. But after sledding after a couple of arguments with Kathy, I finally come to realize that, in fact, arguments don’t necessarily hurt relationships. They can be just a way of expressing opinions. By allowing me to be argumentative, she shaped me, sharpened me, and cut the fences of acquiescence in which I had besieged myself. She taught me to challenge and fight for what I believed was right, and that life always favors those who love it by fighting hard for it.

My second host mother, Chelsea, was single, young, and fun loving. She encouraged me to be more social and even convinced me to invite friends to sleepover, which I hadn’t done for years. Having friends with me helped me survive the most exhausting trials of high school life, and I was amazed how fast my friendships deepened. I used to have a passive attitude about friendship; I believed that if I was meant to become good friends with someone, we eventually would. But Chelsea showed me that friends are so valuable that I should always give friendship a chance to develop. She introduced me a new way of building friendship - be proactive and take initiative. My current host mother, Leslie, is single as well with a 12-year-old son. From first sight, I knew I would love them, especially my young “brother”. The boy Sebastian is humorous, mature, sometimes even a perfectionist, but shy when it comes to socializing. He is just like the young me before I came here. My host mother frequently teases us about our similar behaviors and jokes that we would be perfect siblings if we fought more often. With my host mother’s support and encouragement, I became a better sister day by day. I take Sebastian with me when I visit my friends, we go to movies, play table games, and for the first time, I have found myself caring more about the smiles on the person next to me more than the movie or the game itself. With the supports and opportunities provided by my third host mother, my life is filled with care and love.

Of course, nobody can replace my mom, but allowing these women to be in and shape my life has prepared me well to let others influence me. Everyone has something to learn -- I look forward to meeting people and new views of the world they will offer.