MELANIE puts down her pencil and turns to SAM[As if she were posing a question]:
Sam.
SAM [Looking up from his phone]:
Yes?
MELANIE:
I have a hypothetical situation for you. I’d like for you to respond how you honestly feel you would.
SAM [Mulls this over in his head a moment]:
OK, shoot.
MELANIE:
Here’s the premise to the situation: the two of us have been friends for over two years now. Our bond has become extremely strong, even though we only became close friends within the past year. We commit almost every interaction we have with each other to memory. We’ve never been anything more than friends, but it’s clear there is occasional tension between us. The question I want you to answer for this hypothetical is: how prominent is that tension?
SAM [immediately after]:
No, the real question is who’s noticing the tension? You or me. . ? And for that matter, which one of us wants to do something about it?
MELANIE:
I thought I was giving the hypothetical situation?
SAM:
Yeah, I know, but I think these are important questions to answer before I can respond.
MELANIE:
Fair enough. Alright . . . to know which one of us wants more out of a simple friendship, we need to know more about how we react when we’re around each other.
SAM:
Alright, here’s a situation for your situation: [Pauses to collect his thoughts] we haven’t seen each other in about a week, but we see each other on an every-other daily basis because we have classes together. Upon seeing me after this long week, what is your reaction?
MELANIE [After a beat]:
Most likely a mix of happiness, anxiety, self-consciousness and relief.
SAM:
Holy crap that’s a lot of emotions.
MELANIE:
Well I’m a human being, aren’t I? I’m a conflicted girl becoming an adult trying to figure out if I should have feelings for you or not.
SAM:
Hold on, I have another question. [MELANIE nods] If we’ve been friends for two years, why haven’t you liked me all this time?
MELANIE:
Excellent question. To answer, I’m going to have to add to the premise of our situation for a moment. I’m assuming that we’ve shared several things about our inner hopes and desires, family struggles, and crushing fears with each other over the last few months. This signifies that we now have a deeper connection than that of an acquaintance. In turn, this makes me feel that you trust me more than any of your other friends. My struggle is trying to figure out if this deeper bond means we’re just better friends or if you like me as more than a friend.
SAM:
Alright, I get that the closeness made you open to liking me . . . but you never liked me prior to the friendship? [Teasing] “Given the situation” I don’t believe you.
MELANIE [Smirking]:
Fine. You win. I have most likely had feelings for you for most of our friendship. Happy?
SAM:
No. [Pause] How could you have had feelings for me, but then only have feelings for me after we become better friends?
MELANIE [Sighing]:
Well friendship is all based on mutual attraction. And in this hypothetical, I am attracted to boys such as yourself, so what’s stopping me from considering that I could be attracted to you? Or that you could be attracted to me?
SAM:
Go on about this “attracted to me” stuff?
MELANIE:
Well for one, I wouldn’t pick friends for any reason. I wanted to be friends with you because we shared a lot of common interests. You’re funny, caring, attentive, smart. All good things.
SAM:
That’s all you would find attractive in me after two years?
MELANIE [The description she gives of SAM can be improved to fit the actor playing him]:
Well of course there’s the physical. Your hair is this adorable mess of curly brown. You’re eyes are bright and expressive when you talk about the things you like. You have this charismatic half-smile when being told a funny story . . . [Add any extra lines here] What else? All the little things that I would discover when I grow closer to someone, except with the fact that they all seem to make me like you as more than a friend
SAM [working it out in his mind, a smile is playing on his lips]:
So to clarify: the anxiety and self-consciousness you felt from before—when you saw me after a few days had passed—is from you possibly liking me, correct?
MELANIE:
Yes.
SAM:
But you’re not sure if you should like me?
MELANIE:
Yes.
SAM [Slightly exasperated]:
Yes, you’re not sure, or yes, you should like me?
MELANIE:
Yes, I’m not sure.
SAM [Scratches his head]:
Well at this point in your hypothetical situation you’re stuck. Even if you do decide to admit these feelings to yourself—which you’ve clearly had a hard time doing these past two years—you still don’t know if I’d reciprocate them.
MELANIE:
Exactly my sort of problem.
SAM [Changing subject]:
So why’d you present this situation to me in the first place?
MELANIE:
If you had let me finish, you would know. [SAM gives her a somewhat irritated look and SHE ignores it] The first thing I wanted to know was how prominent is that tension? Have you even noticed I may like you?
SAM:
Well let’s assume there is this one thing you do that’s sent up flags before.
MELANIE:
And that would be…?
SAM:
I’m guessing that if you do have hidden feelings for me, whenever I would remotely hint at us being more than friends, you would change the subject [snaps his fingers] like that.
MELANIE [defensively]:
Because that’s not appropriate for a mutual friendship.
SAM:
Or because you don’t want to admit you want it to happen?
[Melanie lets that sink in]
So my answer is: the tension is somewhat prominent. But it doesn’t affect me enough to want to stop being friends with you. [A beat] Is that all you wanted to know, Melanie?
MELANIE:
Oh this hypothetical situation is far from over.
[SAM laughs]
So with the tension somewhat prominent, why hasn’t hypothetical-you done something about it? Do you not want to ruin whatever relationship we currently have? Are you facing the same denying-feelings I was facing? Or are you too afraid of moving forward?
SAM:
I have to say . . . this is really intense.
MELANIE:
I simply want to know how you would react to a common situation.
SAM:
Alright. [Another beat] So we’ve been friends for two years now? Close friends for several months? [MELANIE nods] I think it’s safe to say I would probably have feelings for you too.
MELANIE [Fascinated]:
Really?
SAM:
And if they’re the same feelings you have for me, then you obviously know why I haven’t “moved forward” with them.
MELANIE:
That . . . seems reasonable. [A beat] So if we both like each other, but neither of us will admit it because neither of us knows the other likes them . . . what are we left to do?
SAM:
I think you know as well as I know the situations that could follow.
MELANIE:
Please enlighten me.
SAM:
One: we never admit we like each other, but we continue being friends with each other. We grow up, go to college, find some other person we convince ourselves is our soul mate, marry them instead, have a family with them, occasionally see each other at high school reunions or because a mutual friend is hosting a party, and expertly hide the feelings we have for each other and still harbor in the back of our minds in pain until we grow old and die.
[Waits for MELANIE, to respond, but she is simply frowning.] Two: one of us works up the courage to say we like the other person, the other is beyond happy and proclaims their mutual love, we go to college, reconvene afterwards, get married, have a family together, and grow old in love and happiness until we die. [Waits again for MELANIE, but SHE does not say anything.]
Well . . . what? This is your hypothetical situation, what do you think?
MELANIE:
So if we both know which situation is the better . . . then why will we inevitably pick the first all because we’re so scared to admit our emotions?
SAM:
That . . . is a very good question.
MELANIE [After some time]:
I think I know . . .
SAM:
Please enlighten me.
MELANIE:
If I knew you didn’t like me back for certain . . . then I don’t believe I would have a problem telling you I liked you. [SAM is about to inquire about that, but MELANIE continues] I would already know you would reject me, so now confessing my feelings would simply be a way to get them off my chest. With that over with, I would be able to get over my feelings for you, and we could move on with our lives. But because I don’t know if you like me back or not, I’m in a paradox. I have to make all my actions living in two worlds simultaneously: one where you like me back and one where you don’t. I wouldn’t be able to admit my feelings to you because I don't know if you'd reject me or not. It’s that small kernel of hope that stops us from telling people our true feelings, I think, not the mountain of doubt that says they'll reject us. [A beat] Because I believe hope can be more terrifying than despair.
SAM:
Why?
MELANIE:
Because it’s easy to despair. You tell someone you like them, expecting them to say no? Well, you my friend are not disappointed. You look at the person you’ve been wrestling with feelings for, for God know how many hours—you look them square in the eye [MELANIE is staring SAM in the eye now] and say “Hey, I actually really like you . . .”
[There is a long beat here] If you say that with hope, then you are crushed more than you could ever imagine when they reject you.
SAM:
This is depressing.
MELANIE:
This is the truth.
SAM:
But isn’t it worth it to tell the person you like them? Either you tell them, they reject you, and you don’t end up with them, or you don’t tell them, nothing happens and you still don’t end up with them. Isn’t it better to risk it?
MELANIE:
I believe most people don’t want to ruin the relationship they currently have with that person. People seem to think you can’t continue a friendship after someone’s admitted and rejected feelings.
SAM [incredulously]:
You can’t continue a friendship not admitting feelings. Then it’s not a mutual friendship. It’s a one-way pining after someone who just doesn’t like at you like that.
MELANIE: [shrugs]:
Anyway . . . as it is, we don’t hold on to all our high school friends by the time we’re forty-three.
SAM:
So then why don’t we all just tell each other we like each other?
MELANIE:
Because, Sam, then we wouldn’t be teenagers.
SAM:
So did I help you solve your hypothetical situation?
MELANIE:
Yes! Thank you so much!
SAM:
Why did you need to present that to me anyway?
MELANIE:
Because I thought you would have an insightful answer, and I was right.
SAM [With this line, the hypothetical situation is completely over]:
But I only just met you last week, how could you possibly know I would have an insightful answer?
[MELANIE shrugs] Besides, you sort of came up with all the answers yourself.
MELANIE [Smiles and begins to pack up her homework]:
Couldn’t have done it without you!
SAM:
One last question: what do you need all this for anyway?
MELANIE [dismissively at first as she continues to pack, but then becomes excited]:
Oh I need to write this play for my English class . . . now I think I’ll write about two teenagers who have feelings for each other but sadly cannot admit it. They spend the whole play toying around with this hypothetical situation that they like each other and figure out everything we just did, inadvertently admitting they like each other. Sadly, they are still trapped by the idea of expressing their feelings without the context of the hypothetical and ultimately live out the first situation you presented—the one where they grow old in sadness and die. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts! What do you think?
SAM [pause]:
Can I be honest?
MELANIE: [Now standing with her backpack on her shoulder. Earnestly]:
Of course!
SAM:
It sounds terrible.
MELANIE:
Oh. Well . . . what should I write?
SAM:
Write about a girl falling in love with one of the undead. People eat that shit up.
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