LEAVING
BY MELINA JONES

The lighting in the room is dim. The bedroom itself looks run down. The four walls that surround me are a dirty white color and there are cracks in some of the areas, like a lightning symbol across one of the walls. There are about three figures of Jesus Christ on the Cross throughout the room on white dressers. Jesus has a thorn crown over his head with blood dripping down his face. There are several black and white pictures with children and their grandparents with a silver frame. There is a television in the corner of the room and there is a white line going through the bottom of the television while the news is on. The television has two antennas on top and you have to bend or move the antennas to be able to see the full picture of what was playing. In the middle of the room was my great-grandma surrounded by me, my mother, sister, and cousin. My grandma is laying on her back in her bed. She’s wearing a pink nightgown and is covered in light white blankets with a long white tube full of clear liquid entering into her arm of her frail and pale body. My mother is on the right side of grandma's bed along with my sister. My cousin is at the feet of my grandma’s bed and I at the left of my grandma. We all sit on our knees with our hands clasping one and another, filled with sadness and desperation.

We all together, in unison, say the Lord’s Prayer, but I do not know it. I pray and listen with tears running down my face and can taste the salt in my tears. After the prayer is said, we hold each other’s hands tight as if a parent is walking with their young child across the street, protecting them from vehicles that come their way. I look at my grandma’s hand and can see her defined purple and blue veins. Her nails are painted purple, her favorite color. I can feel her grip loosening as she can no longer keep her hold arms out. My mother, sister, cousin, and I get up from our knees. As I get up, my bare knees are red from sitting on the carpet too long. I reach over the bed and give my grandma a big and long hug. As I hug her, I can hear her struggling to breathe and gather air. She wraps her weak arms around my head and whispers that she loves me dearly. I smell her and she smells like lavender from a garden, and our hug lasts for a long time as if time itself has stopped.

I come away from my grandma and look at her face and she is giving me a small smile with tears in her eyes. Her eyes were glistening like when you look at a river or ocean at night time and see the moon shining and reflecting from the body of water. I back up and I turn around to see my mother. My mother face looked tired and heavy from crying. Her eyes were watery and almost closed shut, her nose was bright pink, from wiping with kleenex tissues. My mother, sister, and I walk towards the door, looking around the room that we have called our second home since the day we were born, trying to remember all of the details of the room. My mother and sister exit the room first, and before I walk out of the door I turn back to look at my grandma one last time. Her eyes are closed and in my head I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay, I needed more time with her, I had so many questions to ask, but it was too late. I walked out of the room with tears running down my face. It was hard for me to walk because my vision was blurred from all the crying. I had a huge headache and as it felt as if my head were pounding. My mom and sister help me down the stairs and to the car. The three of us were in the car and bowed our heads as we began to pray for my grandma’s soul to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. Lung Cancer took my grandma’s life.